It's Saturday and I joined the cruise ship today. I am already exhausted from the trip. I look at around my crew cabin as I type this, staring at the four walls of this closet size space with four beds. Soon my cabin roommates will be off work so I am glad I was able to take a shower before they get back. Four beds, one bathroom, one tv, one other Canadian, a Philipino, and a Romanian Romanian. I can't remember their names yet. The Romanian roommate seemed stuck up as hell. In fact, so did most of the Romanian girls I met today on the ship.

I wonder what I am doing here. From the second I stepped on the cruise ship today, I have been pulled in every direction, fitted for an ugly uniform, thrown into a three hour safety lecture which pretty much has me fearing a Titantic-like onboard experience, and I have been lost four times.

I am starting work early tomorrow. I will just stand alongside some girl who seems to struggle with the English, and learn as I go. 1500 guests got off the cruise ship today and another 1500 got onboard. I am feeling a little overwhelmed at the amount of knowledge I need to have in a short period of time. Everyone here seems so intense and in rush. The Safety Officer flipped out on me and this other other girl when we were late for safety meeting  today. He actually threatened to send me back home before we left port because I was late. I never realized I would need to know how many life rafts a cruise ship carries, or how to evacuate the passengers to safety. Isn't there a Captain and some sort of officers for that?? I kind of miss home. I packed my life into suitcase and left every comfort zone I was sheltered by. The voice inside of me finally spoke loud enough to get me here, and now it's still trying to talk me through it. This needs to be a chance to see the world and an opportunity to grow at sea.

My cabin roommates are back and I am sitting in my bed. The Romanian girl name is Alina. She hardly said two words to me when she got back in the cabin, but she sure is full of conversation for this guy in her bed now. All I can hear her giggling and his deep Caribbean accent. I didn't realize we could fit another person into this cabin. Wait...is she really....what the fuck, they are screwing while im in this small space!

Is she not realizing that two other people are in this cabin? Does she seriously think this curtain that closes around each bed is sound proof?? I open my curtain and look across at the bunk next to me where the Filipino girl, Carmella, is staying. I look at her as if to say, "is this really happening here?".

She smiles obliviously and keeps watching the TV, eating her instant noodles. Clearly, this is something she is used to and is considered normal on cruise ship.

I'm not used to falling asleep to live porn, I think I will put some of these ear plugs they gave us to drown out the sound of the engine and try to get some sleep for tomorrow’s shift.