After a long day working on a cruise ship, you should be able to head back to your cabin and unwind—watch a movie, listen to music, or just rest. Every crewmember needs some privacy off duty, but that’s not always possible when you’re sharing a cabin with a roommate… or sometimes even three.

Since everyone has different habits and personalities, the chances of clashing can be pretty high. And when you board, you usually don’t get to choose your roommates—the crew purser assigns you wherever there’s space available. Most of the time, you’ll be placed with crewmembers from the same department.

So here are a few nasty (and yes, a bit bitchy) roommate types you might run into:

Smelly Roommate

This type of crewmember comes back from work, takes off their uniform—or worse, stays in it—and goes straight to bed without showering. Within minutes, the cabin starts to smell funky and you can’t sleep. Telling them they need a shower usually doesn’t work, because they won’t listen.

What you can do: use an ozoner (if you have one), spray the cabin, leave the door open for a while, and escape to the crew bar for a beer. It won’t fix the problem, but it’ll make the cabin a bit more bearable.

Drunk Roommate

They’re like the smelly ones, but sometimes worse. The “good” part is they spend most of their free time in the crew bar, so they usually come in late. That gives you time to relax, invite a friend (or your girlfriend/boyfriend), watch a movie… maybe even do some ciki ciki or paha :)

The bad part is when they stumble in, they stink—and you never know what you’ll wake up to. Pee on the carpet, a toilet full of vomit… you’ve heard the stories.

I remember one guy who came back completely wasted and went to the shared bathroom (on some ships, two cabins share one toilet with two doors). Instead of going back to his own cabin, he walked into the neighboring one and saw someone sleeping in “his” bed. He started screaming at the poor guy. Total shock for the sleeper—funny story later.

Casanova Roommate

This one can be both good and bad. The good side: if they stay in their lover’s cabin, you get the room to yourself. The bad side: if they bring the lover into your cabin, your “two-person cabin” suddenly becomes a three-person situation. And yeah… you’ll hear plenty of exotic noises at night.

Also, when you return to the cabin, you’ll have to knock first, wait a minute or two, and then go in. If you don’t follow that procedure… you really don’t know what you might walk in on.

Silent Roommate

I once knew an Assistant Maitre d’ sharing a cabin with a waiter. When he was in the cabin, he was like a bear in a cave—no lights, no music, and absolute silence. Every time the waiter entered, he had to move quietly, because if the “bear” woke up… he’d get slapped :)

Noisy Roommate

This type doesn’t just bother you—your neighboring cabins hate them too. Anytime they’re in the cabin, they blast loud music, usually metal or techno.

I had a roommate from South Africa like this. On his first day, he set his alarm on an iPhone dock connected to speakers. A few hours later, I woke up to loud death metal like I was in hell. He was actually a decent guy, though—after I told him, he never did it again.

What can you do if your roommate is annoying, nasty, or bitchy?

Honestly… not much. If you complain to your supervisor, they usually won’t do anything unless it’s a serious issue.

Best tip: as soon as you find out someone is leaving the ship, go straight to the crew purser and submit a cabin change request.