Let me share the story about one bar waiter I worked with a couple of years ago. This is a true story about the importance of validation in the workplace. 

Once upon a time, a great guy, a bar waiter, started working his second contract at sea. He was extremely friendly towards the guests and fellow crew members, proactive in up-selling beverage products, and efficiently achieved his daily targets. Excellence was his usual standard of service. He was always early and presentable at work, polished and enthusiastic. Actual role model, I would say. 

He was the best seller in the entire bar department during his first month at work. He hit all the targets and quickly broke new sales records. He was focused, passionate, and energized. Realistically, he was a great asset to the company; many of our guests returned to the cruise to see this bar waiter again. My story shows that any company in the world wants to have this dedicated, efficient employee. 

His manager came up and told him very loudly one day.

" You have missed your safety training again, one more time, and you will be terminated." 

After saying that, the manager just left. The following day, it was a sea day. The bar manager called the same bar waiter in the office and, once again, overly reprimanded him- " Next time when you forget to sign your name for linen change, I will give you a warning straight away."

Undoubtedly, some policies and procedures were to be followed in this case. Especially from the manager's point of view, there is a required code of behavior, a certain standard to be followed. But out of nowhere, the bar waiter lost his motivation and desire. He felt burnout and unhappy because he was never validated and acknowledged. Also, he felt that the manager would talk to him only when there was a problem. Day by day, he felt more intense burnout; he came late to work, stopped shaving, and decreased sales. Even his well-known name from TGEM comments vanished. Unexpectedly, he becomes very ineffective at his work. He lost his motivation and self-confidence. The ability to perform under pressure was gone. 

The next day, he returned to the bar manager's office without a lasting desire and willingness to climb the uphill battle and told his boss straight, "Sir, I don't want to work here anymore. If you don't allow me to change the department on the ship and go to Housekeeping, I will resign. 

The bar manager answered, shocked: "Housekeeping?!? Boy, are you crazy? Listen, calm down, ok? You will be the only person in the company's history who wants to change from the bar department to Housekeeping; you are making ten more money at this position and still want to change your job???" The bar waiter was firm and persistent- " Yes, I want to change department because I don't feel acknowledged for my work; in fact, the only time that you would come to see me is when there is my mistake."

The bar manager was quiet and only then realized the valid reason why the bar waiter who used to be the role model for the bar department suddenly shrank his brilliant performance and lost his motivation.

Untrained, biased managers need to make a better impact on the productivity level of the most committed employees on board the ship. The worst thing is that this could easily be prevented by creating mandatory training to improve the leadership skills on board the ship. 

Pain is the currency of our success

The ship environment needs a drastic management change because these cases happen daily on hundreds of ships worldwide. The crucial part of my proposed Leadership program was developing win-win conversational skills, understanding all company employees' emotional intelligence, choosing the right way to address the issue, and resolving the conflict. Management comes together to find the most appropriate ways to communicate with our teams. The key to quality communication is understanding our employees' emotional intelligence and always considering what we say. Still, it's more about the way HOW we say.

Success is always on the other side of the pain; we all need to get out of our comfort zone to progress in any field we choose. No pain, no gain. Put it this way; If you sit down all day at the table, you will have pain. If you lay down all day on your bed, you will also have pain, maybe a migraine or something else. You can not protect yourself from pain. Pain is all around us; sometimes, our best friend defines us as a natural way of getting stronger. Without pain, we will never learn, never improve, grow, and never succeed in our lives.

How would you make progress if you can't reach your feet with your hands without bending your knees? Every day you can reach down as much as you can, and soon you'll find that painful spot, and you hold on there. Hold on there for 5 to 10 seconds. In just a few days, you will be a little closer to touching your toes, but it will get more painful daily. If you repeat this exercise for one week and continuously expose your body to pain, you will get better day by day. And ultimately, you will succeed and reach your final goal at the very end. 

Whatever painful situation in life we all face is the same overcoming process. We should hang on there at the sore spot, hold on for a while, and get more vital day by day. Indeed, we will become more resilient and sharper and gain valuable, defining experiences through this pain. With a proper warrior mindset, we can face any adversity with a massive smile on our faces! Stay positive while working on the cruise ship; you are making such a difference for your family! You are the heroes of the seven seas!